I Had A Really Shitty 2019

by AJ Mihrzad on

Going into 2020, one of the biggest things that I focused on was attracting a powerful soulmate relationship.
I remember spending New Years with my dear friends. We got into some deep conversations about Love. As our convos got more intense, my friend Karen Craig England told me that I needed to focus on self love.

She is an Enlightened coach who taught me a routine of powerful self love practices which I started implementing as soon as the new year started!

I always knew that self love was important on a theoretical level,

but some of the things she had me do were Weird AF!

Being an eager student, I took Massive Action on her advice!

After a few weeks of implementing her daily practice,

I felt joyful & optimistic,

things started turning around in my life! 😁

I was taking better care of myself.

I started feeling better, looking better

& I knew that soon I was going to Attract better!

Right when I hit my upper limit of Joy…

I had a freak accident in March! 😫

It was as if Life was testing me because

Now I had to learn to love myself on a whole different level…

I had to accept myself being crippled.

While being immobilized in a wheelchair, I started to gain weight.

I became depressed because I was in pain & lost my physical abilities.

I felt inadequate & insecure. This severe injury left me feeling half the man I used to be.

Staying committed to my purpose, I continued to persevere with my SELF LOVE routine,
which was more difficult being in the situation I was in.

I know in my heart that it worked because I met a woman who truly loved herself as well!

Rafaela came into my life when I was at my worst physically.

But she accepted me & we got to know each other on a deeper level.

I remember the first time she came to visit me,

I felt kind of awkward & did not look presentable by any means!

I don’t think I shaved or showered in a few days,

but I had zero fucks to give about how I looked,
being in the state I was in. 😝

In the time we spent together, I got to know her compassionate character,

her amazing ambition & her contagiously cheerful perspective on life!

Even though we were Quarantined together, we did not rush into intimacy.

Instead, we spent quality time having deep conversations, authentically sharing our deepest dreams & scariest fears.

The more time I spent with her, the more I realized that this woman truly loves & respects herself!

It’s as if we were both doing the deep inner work on ourselves to be on the same wavelength
to even cross paths with each other in the first place!

I know in my heart that we would not have connected so deeply if I did not commit to truly loving myself & be OK with being alone.

I was not even looking for a relationship when she came into my life & neither was she.

That is why I truly believe that,


Most often when I speak to couples in amazing long term relationships they mention that they were NOT looking for someone to “complete” them.

In fact, they were whole & complete on their own.

Where’ as someone who is NEEDY repels relationships because they reek of desperation.

There is a difference between wanting someone to
Complete you VS Compliment you.

You are already ENOUGH & COMPLETE!

For a while, I was looking for that special soulmate to
“complete me”.

I watched too many Disney movies growing up…

It wasn’t until I stopped searching for the ONE.

And I started Working on myself to become “the One”.

Because when you become the “Right One” you won’t have to search.

It starts with Finding out Who you have to BE,
to Attract the person that you desire.

Becoming the Highest Version of yourself should be your main focus whether you are single or in a relationship.

🔥 You don’t Attract what you want.

You Attract WHO you are. 🔥

Self Love is still a priority for Rafa & I.

In fact, we have our own daily practice that we hold each other accountable to.

After all, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for ALL the relationships in your Life.

That being said, I’m always open to suggestions &
I’m still a rookie…

❤️ What are some ways that you Love Yourself? ❤️

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